


Who's Peter

by Mochieay



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Big Brothers, M/M, The Author Regrets Nothing, The Marauder's Map, The Talk, Weasley Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-24 00:43:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10730667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mochieay/pseuds/Mochieay
Summary: The Weasley twins decide it's time to have a little chat with their little brother Ron about the man who has been sleeping in his bed.





	Who's Peter

**Author's Note:**

> For those of you that have known me for a few years, you'll know that I used to go by a few pseudo names over on FF.net and tumblr. Since I've since lost both the passwords/ email addresses for those accounts, I thought I'd slowly start updating and reposting my old works here. This is an edited version of a story originally posted under the pen name natalieprevitt. Unbetad
> 
> No copy write infringement intended.

"So, little brother." Ron glanced up at Fred. Or was it George? He never could tell.

"Reckon it's time we had a little chat-" The other added.

"Can this wait? Harry wants me to look over these Quidditch plays." He asked.

The twins carried on as if he hadn't spoken at all. Sometimes Ron hated having older brothers. Still, they were better than younger sisters.

"Bout the birds and the bees-" Ron's eyes widened in horror as the one he thought was Fred continued.

"-The Unicorns and the Wackspurts-" George added with a flourish of his hands for emphasis.

"-The Giants and Centaurs-"

Now, that was just ridiculous. "Is that even possible?"

George or Fred or whichever twin it was looked at the other conspiratorially before continuing. "So naive, our little brother."

"The Blast-Ended Skrewts and the Crups-" Ron felt like gagging. No creature would do…That….with a Blast-Ended Skrewt. At least he hoped not.

"Err. Let's not talk about this" he anxiously glancing between his brothers. They didn't need to be having this conversation. "Mum covered this conversation. Painfully."

The twins shuddered in sympathy before continuing.

"But she didn't know, little brother-"

"-What we know." The twins glanced meaningfully at each other before turning back to Ron.

"What you know?" Ron became anxious. They couldn't know about-there was no way they knew about-it just wasn't possible.

"We know about Peter." Ron looked up at his brothers with a frown. They were both smiling at him condescendingly.

"Peter?" he asked. Ron really wasn’t sure who this Peter fellow was.

"Not that we're not holding it against you, little brother."

"Peter?" Ron repeated in confusion. Was he supposed to know this bloke?

"Nothing wrong with that sort of thing." Ron was genuinely confused. What were they on about? Most importantly, who the **bloody hell** was Peter?

"Percy used to always get it on with Wood in the Quidditch locker room."

Ron nearly fell out of his chair. He didn’t know what to say to that.

"Quite likes the quaffles and the brooms, that one."

Ron gagged a little at that thought. Okay, more than a little. Percy and Oliver? Merlin… That was definitely an image he didn't want in his head.

"And we all know what Charlie gets up to with those dragons in Romania."

What? Oh….Gross… Bring back Percy and Oliver….

"No judgment coming from us."

Ron was judging his brother. He really, really was. At least Oliver was fit. Dragons just….weren’t.

The twins both fell into a solemn silence, which was rather rare for them. Unfortunately it didn’t last.

"But it's time we had our chat."

"About the things mum and dad wouldn't have known to tell you."

"Things you'll need to know for Peter."

"For Peter?" There was that bloody name again. Ron used his Gryffindor courage to brave a look towards the twins. He was met with two intense sets of eyes.

"Yes, Peter."

"We need to meet him, by the way."

Ron blinked slowly. He was so confused. This was so confusing. "Who's Peter?" he asked.

The twins looked at him like he was stupid. Honestly! Ron was a lot of things. He was awkward, and oblivious, and he may have been accused of having the emotional range of a teaspoon. But he certainly wasn't stupid. How anyone was expected to follow their ramblings was beyond him.

"He slept in your bed every night for years." One of the twins said.

"What?!" Ron leapt from his seat and sent his parchment flying across the room like an owlry before yule.

They thought he was shagging some bloke named Peter? That had NEVER happened. He was certain of it. He would have remembered something like that. And for years? What were they thinking? Clearly potion fumes from their latest experiment. They needed to go to the hospital wing right away.

"We saw it on the map."

"You know, Harry's map."

Harry's map? The Marauder's map…but… the Marauder’s map never lied….

"You saw me…sleeping…with someone named Peter?"

"Yes." The twins were getting exasperated, which was never good for whoever they were talking with. Exasperation led to explosions.

"Things will be getting more serious. … If you know what we mean."

"Now that you're getting older."

"So we think it's time we had a wee little talk."

“Brother to brother”

"I don't know what you're talking about." Ron deadpanned.

"We know little brother."

"Which is why we’re having this conversation."

"It's okay that you're dating Peter. We can tell you what you need to do."

"But I'm not." Why didn't they understand? There was no Peter. He didn’t even know a Peter!

One of the twins scrunched up his eyebrows.

"So it's more casual than that?"

"More of a friends with benefits relationship?" The other asked.

Ron's eyes widened in horror. He wished he was a hufflepuff and didn’t need to be brave for this conversation.

"Because that's not a good idea, little brother."

"Things get complicated."

"Somebody will get attached."

" **You’ll** get attached."

"I'm not-" Ron tried again.

"You deserve more than that, little brother."

"I'm not seeing Peter." This conversation needed to end. Now.

"You are our brother, after all."

"Fine stock, the Weasley lads."

"I don't know who Peter is." Ron looked pointedly at his brothers.

"Well that's nice, little brother.”

"You've only been sleeping with the bloke for years."

Ron blushed red to the tips of his ears.

"Right heartbreaker you are, not even knowing his name."

Ron heard chuckling. He turned to see Harry leaning casually against the doorframe leading to the dormitory.

"He's not seeing Peter.” The raven haired seeker smiled mischievously at the twins, “He's seeing me.”

The twins glanced between Harry and Ron. "Well that explains a lot."

"Like why you didn't want to date Ginny."

"I don't suppose you want us to tell you about the birds and the bees."

"I think we've got that covered." Harry’s eyes lingered meaningfully over Ron, who somehow managed to turn even redder.

Just as the twins turned to leave they heard Ron mutter.

"Who's Peter?"


End file.
